Yet Another Adoption Update

Y'all...

You may or may not have noticed that I have been pretty absent from the Interwebs lately. There is just a lot going on in my life and trying to balance real life and blog//online life just made me a little nuts.

See?

I know that my last few posts have just been updates about our adoption process, but that's what is going on in my life right now, so that's what I'm going to share. 

So here we go...

Today was part 2 out of 3 of our Homestudy. Things went pretty well. We were sent home with another mountain of homework, which includes the start of our Profile/DVD making....so that will be interesting. 

We have continued to receive generous support from friends and family and seriously feel so blessed! We don't know how we'll ever be able to thank everyone who has contributed through prayer or by giving financially. 

Speaking of fundraising, we have decided to open up another option for giving. If you or someone you know would like to make a tax deductible donation, you can check out our profile on PureCharity.com

Pure Charity allows people to raise money through ordinary online shopping or simply through donations. It works sort of like a cash rewards program, where you get to decide which cause your rewards money goes to. I invite you to check out their website for more information/a better explanation. Our personal profile link is: purecharity.com/spenceradoption

Prayer Requests:

{1} Praise! We are now 22% of the way to being fully funded! Like I mentioned before, people have really stepped up and given so generously. We can truly see God's work.

{2} Prayers as we continue navigating the "homework" from our agency. There are so many big decisions that we have to make regarding our profile and what kinds of children/birth mothers we want to open ourselves up to, [[race, disabilities, etc.]] that it can be overwhelming at times.

If you have any questions for us, please do not hesitate to ask! We love being able to share our story/experiences with others!

With much love,

Adoption: Where We're At & What's Next

This year, Josh and I got way behind in writing our "Generally Around Christmas" letter. We were just having trouble deciding what to write. No real new changes happened in 2012 that we hadn't already shared in our previous letter, and we didn't really have any funny anecdotes to share. I just kept putting it off, and next thing I know, it's April and no longer generally around Christmas. Oh well...

But, because we didn't send out a letter, people are kind of in the dark as to what our current plans for our future as parents are. 

Here is the quick run down:

-We are quitting the foster parenting program. For some reason, unknown to us or anyone else, we haven't received a single placement call since last August! For those of you who are unfamiliar with the system, this is pretty unheard of. Needless to say, we are pretty discouraged. We joined this program to begin helping children in our area, and that hasn't been the case for us at all. Also, we were told by our fostering agency that we couldn't adopt until we turn 25 because that's the law in Illinois. Come to find out, that is completely untrue and you only have to be 21. [[Thanks a lot, guys.]] 

-We have now switched agencies and are moving forward with a domestic adoption. We have mountains of paperwork to fill out, a video/profile/scrapbook to make, and a lot of waiting to do.

-We are in the beginning stages of fundraising. If you would like to help us out, you can either buy something from my online shop or you can simply click on the "Donate" button in my sidebar. We need to raise somewhere around $13,000 [[we don't actually have an exact figure right now, but that's our estimate based on the averages our worker gave us.]]

How you can be praying with us:

1. Fundraising - The money isn't all due at once, which is a blessing, but we will need help reaching our goal. We're really praying for God's provision here.

2. Patience - Adoption is definitely a waiting game. Once our profile is in the system, we wait until the birth family chooses us. Our worker said that we should be prepared to wait at least two years. [[say what??]]

3. Community - We're really looking at this process as an opportunity to draw us closer to other families who have adopted, are in the process, or want to adopt in the future. We also want to use our story to educate others about adoption. Although it has gained popularity in the last few years, there are still many who think that adoption is just for those who can't have children of their own, or for the super rich. This is, of course, a complete myth, and we just pray that our story can be one that encourages others to walk this path as well.

If you have any questions, leave a comment, or email me at fayaknits {at} gmail {dot} com

Much love!

My Heart

Last night I attended an online class through the Influence Network about creative ways to fund an adoption. My husband and I sat attentively listening to Lauren share her family's story of adoption. Their story was so inspiring and encouraging, I urge you to hop on over to her site and read it for yourselves.

We learned a lot about what we need to do to get started on this journey and our eyes were opened to the enormity of the task God has placed before us. We have yet to figure out what the cost will be for us, mostly because we are unsure of the type of adoption we will be pursuing at this time [[domestic or international.]] We do know that we will be doing some fundraising.

Fundraising is such a scary word. Lauren shared with us her definition of fundraising, which I found to be wise and inspired.
        

                      "Fundraising is not simply asking others to give you money for something you want to do. Fundraising is an invitation to be a part of a greater work that God is doing in your life and the lives of others. It's allowing others the blessing of being a part of a redemption story."



This is such an accurate depiction of what I want from our community. I want people who have a heart for orphans but who may not feel called to adopt, to be able to participate in our story.

Proverbs 31:8 is the verse that inspired the name of my handmade shop, Fāyán Knits. Fāyán means "speak" in Mandarin. I began my shop in April of 2012 to begin the process of raising the necessary funds for an adoption. I decided that I wanted to do all that I could to bring home our child who is yet unknown to us. If you would like to help us in our journey to become adoptive parents, I ask that you check out my shop. 100% of the profits go straight into our savings fund and each dollar brings us a step closer to our goal. [[p.s. Everything is 15% off with code FAYAN15 at checkout!! But only through the end of the month!]]

In the future, we will be looking into more ways to raise money, but for now, we would really appreciate it if you could partner with us in prayer.

Things you can be praying with us for:

{1} Our decision on international vs. domestic adoption.

{2} That we find an agency that will work well with our family and specific needs.

{3} That we be patient and open to how God will be working in our lives.

If you are currently in the throes of adoption fundraising, have been through it all before, or if you are interested in adopting in the future, I would love to connect with you! Please leave a comment below or  email me at fayanknits {at} gmail {dot} com.

Much love,

My Weekend as a Mama

Y'all...this morning I am completely wrecked. As I go around this morning, picking up toys and blankets, it is through mixed tears of joy and sadness.

If you didn't already know, Josh and I got a placement call Friday afternoon to provide respite care for another foster family, which we accepted. [[Respite is just where you have the kid for a short time and then they go back from whence they came.]]

There were so many things that I learned this weekend.

Such as:

{1} I am weak and completely need the strength of God.
{2} I am not alone on this journey through motherhood.
       - Josh was super supportive and helpful
       - My family did a great job of loving on Baby
       - Our friends who are already foster parents brought us over toys and a baby bath tub [[things we didn't have yet]] and a huge feast. When I tried to express my thanks, words fell short, but she smiled at me with a knowing smile and said "Jessi, being a mama is hard."
{3} You cannot show love to a child without becoming attached to them. It just doesn't happen that way.
{4} No matter how confident you go into the situation, being a mama has a way of breaking you down. [[Being up all night with a baby who won't sleep unless you're holding them? "No problem," thought my past, naive self. Boy was I wrong!]]
{5} Being a mama is not easy no matter how much you think you're ready for it.

Yesterday was the hardest part. Yes, harder even than the sleepless nights. We got a call in the morning from Baby's foster mom who said that plans had changed and we could drop him off that night instead of Monday, which had been the original plan. A small panic set in. I realized that I wasn't ready to give him up yet. But we packed his things anyway and headed over to their house. The family was super nice and had 3 other kids who they had fostered and then adopted. I felt a sense of peace fall over me as I realized that he was going back to a good situation and that I need not be worried for his safety. [[I know...it was a little paranoid of me to think otherwise.]]

Josh and I walked back to our car and as soon as I got in, a wave of a million different emotions just hit me all at once. It was quite overwhelming. I experienced joy because we had had such an amazing opportunity to show love to this child and also that he was going back to a good situation. I experienced sadness because, honestly? I really wanted to keep him. He was just adorable, and happy all the time. And he had the sweetest little laugh that you will ever hear in your life. But, I also felt relief. This was a hard thing for me to reckon with. I was relieved to be able to go back to a normal schedule where I could sleep when I was tired, and eat food that wasn't cold. I experienced extreme guilt over my feeling of relief. Maybe I'm not ready to be a mom? I don't know. Maybe we're never really "ready" and just have to jump into it.

I still have a lot to process. This journey is a hard one and no matter how prepared you think you are to give a child up, the fact of the matter is, you're not prepared at all.

Thanks to those of you who have been praying for us and prayed for us over the weekend. We really felt God's hand in all of this, so your prayers are known and greatly appreciated.


Much love,